Proctor v. Proctor

Allow me to remind you all of the Proctor v. Proctor case.

You mean the so-called Diddler’s Trial, overseen by Speakes…

The very same.

Knight Rider in forensic mode proceeds to lay the evidence before his chatroom buddies:

Though thankfully there have been none of those cheesy courtroom scenes pulling at the heartstrings of the jury, it appears that Mrs Elizabeth Proctor – acting under enormous strain – and no doubt with her eyes on the Proctor zillions - has convincing grounds for divorce. - Not least because, in a bizarre twist of Californication, Mr John Proctor is refusing conjugal rights.

Shark: Fuckin’ weirdo! Bet my bottom dollar he’s one of those Karma Sutrists on sabbatical till he gets his juice back up and we can all start drinking Ribena again.

Hoarfrost: Well, I bet my Fiorucci sunglasses he’s a Catholic convert.

Jabba: They are just the worst! Ratzinger’s sheep!

Hoarfrost: I should know! My aunt was one!

Jabba: You poor lost soul! Come back into the fold with the rest of the sheep.

Shark: Crazed fools, did anyone ever worship the sheep?