Body Interview

Interviewer: How would you define your relationship to your body?

Respondent: Problematic, but isn’t everybody’s.

I: What do you like about your body?

R: People say I’ve got nice legs.

I: What don’t you like about your body?

R: My legs.

I: Are you happy with your body?

R: Isn’t that the same question?

I: The interview is designed to elicit carefully nuanced responses.

R: Well, continue.

I: Are you on a diet?

R: At the moment, no. But I do take exercise.

I: How often? - Be honest.

R: How ‘bout once every three and a half weeks?

I: Are you, or have you at any time been inspired by Doing It The Ron Atkin’s Way?

R: Personally I am more attracted to the Peebles method. You put stones in your mouth, and then you bury yourself in the sand for twenty-four hours.

I: Sounds drastic.

R: The Peebles method is drastic, but nonetheless effective. - Any more questions?

I: A final question: do you have any recurring worries re your body?

R: For example.

I: For example, accentuation of the jowls or jugs, an inclination to calve around the hips, a certain sagging in the nether regions.

R: This is not recurring, but rather a recent preoccupation. Over the last few months my skin has begun to peel.

I: Interesting. - Where exactly?

R: Well, more or less everywhere.

I: As for your underling – or rather underlying feelings about this, would you say it is a dermatological condition?