Jack’s Cocktail

For the delectation and edification of the patient the contents of the smoke-screen medicine chest were itemised as follows:

(1) With dental hygiene in mind: gently whitening Sensodyne toothpaste, floss, Plak Out and Gel; oxygenated water; six-month supply of flexi-bend toothbrushes (medium strength)

(2) Dietary supplements such as iron and zinc tablets; the gamut of vitamin pills, multivitamins, Vitamin C of course in soluble as well as capsule form; garlic pills and cod liver oil.

(3) In case of indigestion, stomach upsets and constipation: freeze pack of dried fruits (prunes and apricots); laxatives, liver salts - Milk of Magnesia.

(4) Various sachet solutions for colds and flus such as Aulin and Tachipirina; Nurofen and Aspirin again in soluble and capsule form, along with a dangerous handful of suppositories

(5) A dinky little first aid kit containing skin colour plasters, various shapes and sizes of gauze, bandages and folding scissors

(6) Various creams and oils i.e. Tea Tree, Johnson’s Baby and Nivea cream

(7) Old Timer’s cures such as Bart’s Rescue Remedy.

(8) Last on the list, a little bag of tricks known as Jack’s cocktail. Consists of a daily regimen of pills (as proscribed to Mr Nicholson): a baby aspirin; Liptor, to deal with certain cholesterol issues; and a Celebrex to ease the pain of arthritis with a Prilosec waiting in the wings should heartburn develop.