Interview with Sheikh (Expurgated)

Present: Cato-masked Interviewer and Sheikh LeBooty
Absent: Monkhouse.

Cato-masked Interviewer: Sheikh LeBooty, first of all I would like to say, welcome.

Sheikh: Salam, old boy.

Cato-masked Interviewer: Sheikh, a few background questions. As we understand, you were educated in England.

Sheikh: Not the playing fields of Eton, dear boy, but very close.

Monkhouse (Calling from off-set): Let me guess, Madchester Grammar!

Cato-masked Interviewer (Frowning): I will not insult your intelligence. Now lets get onto your profiling.

Monkhouse (Off-set again, only more softly): Highlights or Grecian 2000?

Cato-masked Interviewer: Sheikh, we are talking about your wife who is said to be pining for you on the Yorkshire Moors.

Sheikh (Smiling): Well, it is true I once knew a woman called Catherine.