Jihad Under Fire

News just in on the Reuters ticker tape:

The Jihad Boot Camp is under fire.

Someone we feel is going to have to put a restraining order on those ex-generals, who are spinning around like Daleks in front of the telex. Everyone is in a state of high anxiety. The PM and cabinet have been advised; fire brigade, and Yorkshire coalminers put on national alert. Expecting an influx of patients any minute, doctors everywhere are high fingering their stethoscopes and running through their emergency protocols. Doctor Dino struggles to keep pace with the demands on his medicine chest. Where in God’s name is the Prilosec?

At Parasite the remote viewers have been inundated with long shots and wild calls. Tasso is stuck with a screeching demon in his left earlobe. Dante and Gregorius have been blown out by a Kamikaze Trojan. Adele Wallace has lapsed into trance. Miss St Clair leans over with a Japanese fan as used by the more discerning pumpawallas in remote Himalyan outposts of the British Empire. For she says the brain must not be allowed to overheat. The channels must be kept open. Through all this the bloggers are standing firm. Why, even Sharkhunter has given up texting Hoarfrost and is glued, along with Jonathan and Jabba, to the giant plasma screen of prepounding theories and counter theories:

Is it finally Mars attacking?
Old Friendly and the double crossing SIS?

Or some kind of rogue element i.e. the Soccer Team that no one in a million years could’ve been expecting.