Side Two

My Half Life

(Very long, rambling, incoherent piece of techno-punk)

Side One

Decomposition
Death Compost

(Really, companion pieces, but just get the nod over unintelligibility)

The Concept Album

The second album was the obligatory and er, even die-hard fans cannot deny - terrible concept album

Bored cops (1)

Bored cops start posting lists of songs in the incident room. The game is to spot the real songs and award points for originality to those that are obviously not part of anyone’s oeuvre, including that of the Yorkshire-based metal heads.

The Detonators

On account of his appearance, (scraggy beard, raggedy clothes) wags in the dp had him figured as an ex punk. Various suggestions – along with greenbacks - were slipped into Detective Sergeant White’s old Seagal (a kind of wide-brimmed trilby he picked up in a junk shop). First prize was a tie between The Demolition Men and The Detonators until the reality of the former – a Yorkshire based metal band was proven by certain evidence obsessed cops. – Hey, it’s just a click away on Bebo!

Interview with Henry

As I understand it, Henry, you were at work that day

(In a bored voice) Like I always do, I went up to the first floor storeroom to fetch my mop.

You never use a vacuum?

I am what you might call a traditionalist.

You use bleach?

(Irascible) You having me on. – I always use wax and alcohol. That way you get a better shine.

Third Pamphlet

Which discussed various theories of Detonation, included an interview with Henry, the mild-mannered janitor.

The Dolphin Pool

At the top of the Springer tower is an Olympic size swimming pool which all sector employees are entitled to use. If you dive down and swim half a length you can come up by the tail of the Dolphin. On a fine day in summer, they open up the roof and you can dive from the top board into his smiling mouth. There is just time to wash off the chlorine, says our star of September Rubin Gestalt, and then it is back to the claims waiting on your desk.

Second Pamphlet

Detailed SpringerCorp relations (going back some twenty years) with Dolphin, quoting liberally from the company brochure.

First Pamphlet

The first pamphlet, written in shaky - Bickley - Script was entitled Grounds for Demolition: Issues of Public Safety, naturally… why SpringerCorp should fall out with Dolphin.

One Man Campaign

It was a one man campaign, a silent vigil that had various cops who didn’t like the fact he was hanging around, messing up their eye-line and generally causing a public nuisance itching to take him out. But whenever anyone put in to have him forcibly removed, that jackass - the Commissioner refused point-blank, on account of his rights, would not let them have their fun with the weirdo.

Shelley on acid

Great quote, Sharkey. It’s Shelley on acid!

Sharkhunter quotes:

Sharkhunter wrote:

Evening, gentle folks
I’d just like to share this one from Mr Lovecraft

It was from the artists and poets that the pertinent answers came, and I know that panic would have broken loose had they been able to compare notes

Mr Patrick

Hoarfrost wrote:

This poem left on the Ground Zero billboard I found strangely touching.

God bless Mr Patrick
And his funny ways

God bless Mr Patrick
And his colour board
For long vision

He saw further than
Us
According to Mr
Huxley

God bless Mr Patrick

His near sight
And chronic
indecision

Noid’s noid

Jabba is not just your everyday noid. - Jabba is the noid’s noid! But have you not considered those psy-ops cats like to use all sorts of popular culture symbolism? They twist things round in your head just for chuckles.

Noid

Dig that, Jabba. You is one strange ‘noid.

Bilbo’s Eleventy-one (2)

Of course, the rational part of me says loud and clear that this is simply a mere chance happening and that Tolkien, who published "The Lord of the Rings" in 1954, couldn't possibly have predicted 9/11/2001. And most of us would obviously agree with that. But a small, tiny voice, somewhere in the back of my mind, whispers something else. What if nothing happens by chance, that everything is planned ahead, even decades in advance, so that Tolkien, perhaps part of the Elite, wasn't predicting anything but simply presenting an Agenda that he knew would probably happen? Or, perhaps, as Knight Rider says, it could be synchronicity. Yes, I know this sounds far-fetched, and I'm probably talking nonsense, but when I consider that the second synchronicity. Yes, I know this sounds far-fetched, and I'm probably talking nonsense, but when I consider that the second part of Tolkien's book is called "The Two Towers" and that both of them are destroyed, like the Twin Towers in New York. Then I really have to wonder if my small, tiny voice is that crazy after all. Needless to say, I’m hardly looking forward to the Return of the King!

Bilbo’s Eleventy-one

Jabba the Hut said:

Hello there folks! Re 9/11, thought I would relate a piece of information I discovered just a few days ago. While watching "The Fellowship of the Ring", I was struck by the fact that Bilbo Baggins was celebrating his 111th. birthday. Finding this odd, and not being sure if it was just a Hollywood invention, I decided to check it out. So I took out my dusty copy of "The Lord of the Rings" to verify. And, sure enough, Bilbo was in fact throwing a party on his "eleventy-one" birthday. Okay, nothing unusual so far. But on leafing through the pages, I noticed that the party was taking place in September! "That very month was September, and as fine as you could ask". Now, isn't that weird? My curiosity piqued, I continued checking and came to the back of the book where Tolkien had included a calender of events pertaining to Middle Earth. And guess what? Bilbo Baggins was celebrating his 111th.birthday in September in 3001, exactly one thousand years after the 11th.September 2001! Well, well, what do you know! Isn't that a strange coincidence?

On the morning of 9/11

On the morning of Sept 11, Steven Brown dreamed he was "in the stairwell of the World Trade Center with a lot of people trying to get out," while Gina Vigo dreamt "Manhattan was hit by an incredible blizzard. People were running for cover from the fierce gusts of snow and everything was white. Later on, when I saw footage of the falling ash, it was strangely reminiscent." Audry Parrish dreamed she was in one of the towers when it caught on fire. She escaped by crawling across a glass bridge halfway up into the second tower, "when it too caught fire and burned."

911 Dreams

Many in fact have reported strange dreams.

Five nights before 9/11, Manhattan forensic scientist Mike Cherni (no links) had "an unusually vivid dream":

I was a passenger on a commercial jet, seated at a window seat on the left-hand side. The cabin was filled with sunlight, and outside visibility was excellent. I don't remember the beginning of the dream, but I remember a pervasive sense of dread. The passengers and I were deeply concerned about the flight path we were taking; we were flying very low over Manhattan's buildings. I have flown into New York City's three major airports many times and am familiar with the normal approach routes, and this approach was quite out of the ordinary. I also love flying and had had no bad experiences as a passenger or any bad dreams about flying. Yet in this dream I was very frightened about how close we were to the buildings. Many of the passengers were very vocal and shared my concern. I recognized buildings as we flew over them, and it was clear that we were flying directly south over the southern tip of the island. Then there was a tremendous impact and I woke up. This dream disturbed me for days afterward, enough that I described the dream to my wife.

Nephilim

Mickey C, (catch his act down at Frodo’s this Friday), has never heard of the Nephilim till he clicked on the Knight Rider discussion board.

Analysing the dream, Mickey (a committed previous lifer) has been struck by various thoughts:
1) the fire was not the end but a “transition”
2) the Nephilim was in some way connected to transition
3) ever since his life has been in free fall

Blazing Inferno

Pictured here, in wisecracking mode, holding the upside down crucifix, Mickey Cheney whose date of birth involves an unhealthy coincidence of sixes that happily fall in the year of the fire horse, woke from a dream of a blazing inferno.

It was just like that scene in the disaster movie with Paul Newman says Mickey. I’m stuck in the office looking for some way out of the smoke-infested room, and you know I hear this knock at the door. What’s this I’m thinking… The fire brigade, and Steve Macqueen! - Fat chance! There’s this guy dressed in black and shades. Mucho polite, mucho off the wall says:

We haven’t got much time, Mr Cheney.

Don’t remember what happens much after that, except this sensation of being taken up on wings. – I was actually flying, dudes! Right down the elevator shaft!

Anyway

The Yeats quote wasn’t actually in my dream but you know I couldn’t resist…

Anyway, as I'm writing now I recall, as we – myself and other office workers fell, we 'transitioned' into a different place, positive space. It wasn't such a scary thing after all (dying). And it wasn't so much the lingering feeling of fear after waking up... just that odd phrase that kept echoing in my head...

Holy Mackerel Etc!

Holy Mackerel Etc! A terrible beauty is born!

A strange dream

Day or two before 911 1 had a dream of being high up, in an enclosed space (perhaps no accident since I work on the hundred and nth floor of Der Springerturm). Suddenly the floor dropped out and everybody fell... I woke up with the phrase in my head that everything has changed, and the world is different now. Such a strong dream, especially the phrase, I told my partner... then promptly forgot about the dream till 911, when I heard many a news anchor saying 'the world is different now' and everything has changed… Changed utterly.

Black Box of Flight 911

Police are still looking for the black box of flight nine eleven.

Real News

Dimly she was aware -
Above her head
Of the light
From the dentist’s
Surgery
Someone speaking. –

She looked round – half expecting to see the Horseman. It was not the Horseman she heard, but someone from the real news.

Elliptical Flash

Eyeballs of sloth
Gleeful Hollywood diva
Squeaking
Champagne ghost
Snapped
In the Devil’s
Speakeasy
A Gordian knot
Tied to the Umbilical
Of Sad Mother Earth

Like Dorothy

And I’m supposed to follow… like Dorothy?

Boy: How should I know, silly! - It’s your parallel universe not mine. – In mine you only watch the cartoons.

Well, she thought (but didn’t say) that sounds more like purgatory.

Yellow Brick Road

Boy (re-materialising on his Persian carpet): I almost forgot
In these cartoons you have to follow the camels. I know deserts can be boring… All those dunes. Just as you think it’s going to be really boring, you get to the yellow brick road. –

The yellow brick road?

Boy (Throwing voice like a Hair Bear): Weird, I never been to Kansas before! When the wind gets up, you think it’s going to turn into a hurricane. You gotta run for cover but then the Tin Man shows up, and everything is okay. -

Caravan in desert

The camel moved off. When she looked beyond the tent, there appeared to be a caravan of them all - these slow moving camels, camels trudging across sand dunes. - Did this mean she was in a desert?

It was all so ridiculous, and yet the same time she wanted to know what was going on.

Camel: back view

The boy was speaking intensely now as if to explain, but she could not seem to hear. His words overwhelmed her. The picture went fuzzy… as if the breeze had got up and blown across her field of vision. Desperately she tried to hold on until she lost sight of the boy altogether and the picture was replaced by the back view of a camel. - It was ridiculous; camel bums were ridiculous.

Parallel lines

It’s like you’re following the parallel lines in the middle of the road and your dad is driving very fast. Even if I can’t imagine my dad driving very fast, I can see the parallel lines –

Black Box

The boy looked up, perhaps surprised by her tone of voice.

I’m watching the black box, he said. There is always is one in this cartoon.

A black box?

That’s right, silly. They put one here, and you have to work out what it means.

And what does it mean?

How should I know? – The boy threw up his arms and put on a funny, cartoonish voice ( a passing imitation of the Afro-hair lead bear from the Hair Bear Bunch):

You are now entering a time zone, a dog-eared book - a morphing dream. - Dare one say it, a parallel universe.

I don’t get it, she said.

You really are very silly, the boy said, laughing.

Well, she said, getting into his rhythm, if you’re so clever, why don’t you explain?

Watching the cartoons (2)

She looked around, but could not see a television.

Undeterred, she gave the name of the first cartoon that came into her head; but the boy ignored her question.

Well, she said, finally irritated. If it isn’t the -, what is it you are watching?

Watching the cartoons

She called to him again:

Do you hear me, little boy? –

This time he heard but did not turn round. - Will you be quiet, he said almost furiously. I’m watching the cartoons.

Boy on Carpet

The boy on the carpet, who really was rather pretty, like a girl, burst out laughing. He turned as if to share his laughter. She tried to raise herself on what she imagined was the bed, but the effort defeated her. For a moment the boy seemed quite inaccessible.

Breeze Picks Up

The breeze picked up at the drapes to reveal the boy once again sitting with his legs crossed on the Persian carpet. – Studying the boy closely, she came to the conclusion he was watching something, though exactly what she could not tell since it was beyond her field of vision.

Mr Ben

Various associations played out in her head:
The frayed old carpet in the flat of her childhood
A Reeves and Mortimer sketch
Brusque Turks rolling out carpets on a forgotten holiday
And Old Mr Ben
Who sucked at his teethless gums
One morning when she was a teen

Magic Carpet

The picture came and went shakily
As if the boy was somehow flying
On a carpet
One of those supposedly magic,
Persian carpets.

Gentle Breeze

She felt it first. A gentle breeze
Wafting at the drapes of a tented room.

The Other Side

Suddenly, unexpectedly she found she could not move. - As if someone had put a great thick blanket over her, and she was somehow being smothered, if not mothered to death. When she tried to open her eyes, she peered into a vast blackness, sheet of night.

Was this, she wondered, what it was like on the other side?

Day Seventeen: night

It is night, and Kadath burns no more. The enemy is come to Kadath.

Day Seventeen: morning

Now for the unexpected: the alarum sounds. Nothing happens. - No fireballs, no burning brick.

Day Sixteen

Today it is strange for it does not feel like war. There is no curfew and carts can be seen speeding to places here and there. Shops are closed. Only some bakeries are open and of course the Guardian quarters. Paradoxically there are more Guardians in the streets with more weapons…

Day Fifteen: night

No longer hear the alarum: instead, the Guardians sing patriotic songs. Don’t they know? - What good are patriotic songs when fireballs reign!

Day Fifteen: morning

Went out with my brother to search for bread and vitals. There were no Guardians stopping us from leaving the neighbourhood, as is the case after evening prayers.

They are everywhere still; otherwise the streets are empty. Only bakeries that charge 4 times the normal price remain open.

While we were buying bread a Guardian stopped in front of the bakery and asked the baker if they had enough flour. Was this the stiff-necked dummy’s idea of a joke?

Day Fourteen

Last night, all was - miraculously - quiet in Kadath, until someone passes by hurling abuse. Hurling abuse is the only thing left to do!

Our father, who has become quite mute, starts crying.

Day Thirteen

The column defending the south wall has put up the white flag. A hundred and fifty men marched out the gate.

My brother mutters “what disgrace” to himself.

Yes, I think, it is better for them to do that… Better to save your life now. Put up your white flag even if it makes your heart bleed to swear allegiance to their Gods.

Day Twelve: morning

Yesterday, my brother, in his wanderings, picked up two of their propaganda sheets.

The sender pokes fun at our army personnel and mocks the King for his want of courage. Why does he not come to the gate? Why does he hide in his underground palace? Let him come to the gate and lead the army in attack!

The other was addressed to the people of Kadath. In the event of our surrender we are to lay down our weapons, and swear allegiance to their unspeakable Gods.

Day Eleven

A whispering campaign is afoot… General Dar has gone over to the enemy. People are waiting for the Guardians to make their move. And now our father has taken to his bed: he no longer speaks of the winged creatures, but closes his eyes and stares at the wall.

Day Ten: morning

Smoke columns rise over the city and consume it. The winds blow generally to the east, which leaves the western side of the city clear. But when it comes in the way of the sun it covers Kadath in a thick cloud. Dark days lie ahead, literally…

Day Nine (2)

My brother went out for bread. On his return he was excited.

A man was arguing with a Guardian in the street. I’ve got a permit from the King, the man said. You can’t stop me from moving round of my own free will.

There is no curfew but you have to have a reason to leave your neighbourhood. My brother thought it was going to get serious. The Guardian drew his sword, but the man stood his ground. – He was one of those bloody-minded fellows from the old quarter. My brother says they are a law unto themselves!

In the end, the officer in charge came over and told the soldier to sheathe his sword. They let the man go.

Day Nine (1)

Still no news of General Dar…

Day Eight: Night

My brother loses his temper with our father. Our father I fear has lost his mind with fear of the Nephilim. When we say we have seen no winged creature, his lips tremble. Meanwhile, we damp our clothes and hair ready for the next wave of attacks.

Eighth day: morning

The bakeries are, by order of the King, selling rations of bread. Prices, which were yesterday grossly inflated, are back to normal!

And yet the market near our house is almost empty. The vendors say they can obtain no supplies; nothing comes through the gates.

On the street, on the way home, we find someone selling nuts and berries!

Seventh day: evening

Today we get lucky. The fireballs do not fall with such intensity. So much so my brother and I were able to go out and take a look at the burning city.

From the top of the hill you can see the fires still smouldering in the northern tower of the King’s Palace.

The Guardian’s quarters in the armoury district has been hit. The buildings around it, next door and across the street have been damaged.

One of them is rubble. A cart stands near the most damaged buildings and a Guardian covered in dust helps with the clearing up. – ‘Tis a strange irony to see the streets so busy with carts and Guardians!

Day Six

The news abroad augurs Kadath’s doom. Sarnath has fallen. The attack has begun on Ansar el Islam … What has become of General Dar?

Day Five: Evening

We start counting the minutes from the alarum; the angry balls of fire reign down on us; the smoke rises over the city and obscures our vision.

Third Day: Morning

Today, being the third day of the war, fireballs reign down unabated.

Wrath Come to Kadath

Suddenly, it has started. As we feared with fireballs. The city burns, people run hither and thither to put out the fires.

The air is hot with flames and smoke filled. Why I wonder does this wrath come to Kadath unless it is for our vanity and hubris?

Winged Creature

The winged creature was seen at the north gate of the citadel. When he struck his wings and rose above the gate, a soldier took fright and launched his spear… I myself did not see him but have it on the word of the Watchers.

Maps In the Ground

Meanwhile, we draw maps in the ground trying to figure out what is going on in the south. Will Um Qasar hold? Will General Dar come to our rescue?

Nothing happens. - For how long?

Children of the Stars

The King has placed himself at the head of the army, though the Guardians do not wish it. They say he is too valuable to us. I fear some obscure political manoeuvring within their factions. But the king rises above it. This morning he gave a speech… He put verse in it! - He told us to defend ourselves and not just our integrity. For the gods look on us favourably. We are, he says, all children of the stars!

Enemy Come to Sarnath

The messengers report from the Brillig Sands the enemy is come to Sarnath.

Um Qasar

They were talking in the market about the approach of the enemy to Um Qasar. They say Um Qasar will hold. If Um Qasar holds what will happen when they get here? It will turn ugly.

I believe they are expecting things to be much easier. But here there are no waving masses of people welcoming them nor are they surrendering by the thousands. People are doing what all of us are, sitting in their homes hoping that a fireball does not fall on their heads and keeping their doors shut.

The Horseman’s News (4)

Once again she found herself straining to listen, only this time it seemed somehow more important. She wanted to get closer so she could catch it – the precious news. But when she tried to, she found it was well nigh impossible. - As if there was a screen between herself and the horsemen. In the end she gave up, and lay back on the bed.

The horsemen carried on speaking; she didn’t care. She closed her eyes and tried to forget them. That’s the end of it, she thought. - No more horsemen, no more news –

Just as she was about to let go, she heard a voice in her ear. What the horseman was saying, even if at the moment not entirely clear, would become so after she listened to his news.

Two horsemen

Suddenly, the horseman was not alone; sitting at the desk, wearing the same sort of grey suit and with the same uncanny streak of white in his hair was his twin.

She wanted to laugh; the idea was all too comic. When were the other horsemen going to appear?

Seventh Degree

The feeling of separation was somewhat akin to the seventh degree…

Scotch

Once, as a child, she had, out of desperation for a terrible cold, stuck a piece of scotch in her right nostril. When the adults realised, they had tried to get her to sneeze it out by sticking a pepper pot under her nose.

Afterwards, she had been taken to hospital. - That was the first time she became aware of class; her stepfather had insisted she was put in a separate room from the other children.

Tweezers (!)

Just at the moment of distraction and near boredom two small metal prongs - a pair of tweezers (!) came into focus. She was not frightened, but somehow relieved; the shadowy doctors were going to extract the straw that had been placed in her nose.

The Horseman’s News (3)

The great difficulty of hearing the horseman’s voice induced in her a feeling of lethargy. Whatever his news was, was not – it seemed - especially important.

The Horseman’s News (2)

Annoyingly, she could not hear his voice, as if it had been placed at one remove…

The Horseman’s News

Straightening the papers on his desk, the horseman cleared his throat, and started to read what she could only assume was the news. Not for television perhaps, but the radio, or, as she was thinking along the lines of a trench war and therefore her grandfather: the wireless.

The Horseman

The man was riding,
Bolt upright,
On a charger
Through pretty,
Gentrified countryside.
When she tried to catch up,
He passed into the middle
Of an old war
Thick with mud and
Barbed wire.